Swinger Terms

Terms Swingers Use Swinger Terms Slang

Here are some terms commonly used in the swing community as well as others. You are more likely to use/see these terms in the context of personal ads or messages posted to a message boards. These are by no means the only terms swingers use but they will give you a better understanding of what is meant when you see them.

AC/DC: Person who enjoys both same sex and opposite sex sexual activity; Bi; Bisexual.

ADULT: Euphemism for pornographic.

ANAL: Anal intercourse; Greek; Greek Culture.

BBW: Big Beautiful Woman.

B&D: Bondage and discipline (see BONDAGE, DISCIPLINE)

BI: Bisexual: Versatile(see AC/DC)

BI-COMFY: Varies from person to person but usually used by a woman to state that she is comfortable being around or with a woman who is BI. A "BI-COMFY" woman may or may not desire to have sex with another woman. She is merely "comfortable" with the idea of playing with another woman but does not wish to label herself as "BI-SEXUAL."

BI-CURIOUS: A person who has little or no experience having sexual relations with a same gendered person but is interested in finding partners to explore that side of his/her sexuality.

BI-FRIENDLY: When used in the description of a club, BI-FRIENDLY means that the club is open to bisexuals of both genders. When a woman uses this to describe herself it means she feels no attraction to the same gender but she has no hang-ups that preclude a bit of friendly fooling around when the situation seems to call for it.

BIZARRE: Unusual sexual desires; Way out

BONDAGE: A sexual fetish in which restraints such as ropes, chains, cloth or leather straps are used to bind, tie or hold a participating sexual partner. The person doing the binding is considered "dominant" while the person being bound is considered "submissive."

CAN ENTERTAIN: Advertiser willing to invite others to their home for swinging.

CAN TRAVEL Advertiser will travel to your home to swing.

CANING A spanking fetish employing a light cane usually bamboo or other light wood


CLOSED SWINGING Sexual interaction among couples using separate rooms so that partners of a marriage or other intimate relationship do not visually observe each other's swinging. The rooms are almost always in the same house.

CLOSET SWINGER A person who hides the he/she is a swinger.

COUPLE In swinging, a man and a woman. May be married, living together (cohabitating), committed (on going relationship) or a single couple dating for swinging purposes; CPL


CULTURE Euphemism for Fetish, Arts

CUNNILINGUS Stimulation of the vagina and clitoris by the mouth especially the tongue and lips, and sometimes the teeth

DILDO An artificial penis, usually made of rubber or plastic, for sexual stimulation of the vagina and sometimes the anus.

DIRECTOR The term used to describe the principal person who runs or otherwise operates a swing club, generally the owner. A person who works for the director and is responsible for party or club operation whether or not for pay, is generally call a Manager.

A sexual fetish in which one partner dominates the other, a willing participant. Often includes physical punishment of the submissive partner, ranges from physical restraint to mild spankings to painful beatings

DISCRETIONAsking those who write or call to exercise caution so that children or others who may open mail or answer phone will not be offended and/or made aware of the swinging activity.

DOCILEWilling to receive bondage and/or discipline (see SUBMISSIVE).

DOMESTIC TRAININGSubmissive obedience to household chores of an intimate and humiliating nature.

DOMINANT The sexual partner in control of the willing submissive partner


EXHIBITIONIST A person who is sexually stimulated by being seen or watched by others while showing sexual portions of the body or engaging in sexual acts.

F Female

FMFA threesome between two women and one man. FFM A threesome between two women and one man. Sometimes when a person writes FFM instead of MFM they may mean that there is to be sexual play for all 3 but only sexual penetration with one of the women. If you are unclear, you should ask the person you are corresponding to what they mean by this arrangement of the letters. FELLATIO Sexual stimulation of the penis by the mouth, especially by the tongue and lips and sometimes teeth.

FETISH Sexual arousal and pleasure through use of non-sexual objects, actions or non-genital anatomy

FLAGELLATION Sexual stimulation derived from pain, usually whipping or spanking

FULL SWAP Also referred to as "HARD SWAP." It means there is to be sexual penetration for all of those engaging in the group's activities.

FUN AND GAMES Euphemism for sexual activity

GAYA homosexual person, male or female. A gay female may also be called a Lesbian.

GENEROUS Refers to money for sex.

GROUP ROOM Room set aside for group sex, generally furnished with wall-to-wall mattresses or pads. Term is prevalent in western US (see MATROOM).

GROUP SEX Swinging; Social-sexual activity between three or more people.

HARD CORE A swing party or swing engagement where sexual interaction is assumed and expected.


HEAD Oral-genital sexual activity; "Giving head"

HEDONIST Lives for pleasure.

HETEROSEXUAL Sexual attraction to members of the opposite sex.

HOMOSEXUAL Sexual attraction to members of the same sex. (See GAY)

HORNY Sexually tense; In need of sexual pleasure.

HUMANIST Person who believes in human values, potential, self-respect of the individual, personal freedom and human rights.

HUNG Refers to a man with a large penis.

INDOOR SPORTS Swinging activities in general.

Seeks a swinging relationship that includes emotional and recreational values. Used chiefly in personal ads and letters in answer to personal ads

LEATHER A fetish; Sexual stimulation through the wearing of leather garments.

LESBIAN A woman sexually and emotionally attracted to other women (see GAY)

MANSCAPING Shaving unsightly hairs from face, chest, testicles, back, shoulders, belly, nose or anywhere else it grows.

MARITAL AIDS Dildos, vibrators, and other devices used for sexual pleasure of self and others.

MASOCHISM Sexual gratification through receiving pain and humiliation from others.

MASTER/SLAVE Participants in a bondage and discipline sexual relationship (see B&D, BONDAGE, DISCIPLINE)

MATROOM Room set aside for group sex. Principally an eastern US term (see GROUP ROOM).

MEET FOR PLEASURE Will meet for swinging sex; no pretense for social or emotional interaction not directly related to sexual activity. Used chiefly in personal ads and letters in answer to personal ads

MENAGE A' TROIS Three people, two of one sex, one of the opposite sex in a swinging interaction. May involve an on-going emotional relationship of the participants. {see THREESOME, TRIAD)

MORESOMES More than three people in a swinging interaction.

NEWCOMERS New people in swinging; First-timers

NONSMOKER Does not smoke. If used in personal ad usually means only those who do not smoke are sought for swinging purposes.


OPEN SWINGING A couple swinging with another couple in the same room; Several or all participating couples together in the same room; (Western U S ) swing party where participants socially mix and are free to swing as couples, in one-to-one pairings and group sex during the progress of the party.


ORGY Sexual interaction among several men and women in the same room; group sex.

PARTY Gathering of three or more people of both sexes for swinging.

PARTY CLOTHES Clothing particularly adapted for swing party wear, Includes wear to the party and wear to change into during the party The latter includes robes, lingerie, terry cloth wrap-arounds and other simple wear that is easily removed, shows the wearer to best advantage and often makes selected parts of the body easily available for erotic courting and play.

PARTY HOUSE (Western US ) A non-membership swing club offering a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties.

PASSIVE Quiet, submissive non-contributor, willing to receive corrective training. Docile and submissive in swinging (see DISCIPLINE)

PHOTO Interested in exchange of nude or sexually explicit photos of self with similar photos of others.

PHOTOGRAPHY Interested in exchange and/or making of nude or sexually explicit photographs, color slides or movies with similar photographs, slides or movies of others; interested in meeting with others for the making of these photographs.

PLAY Have sex!

PLAY-DAR A sense that a couple or a person might be interested in swinging.

P/P Photo and phone number (used in personal ads).

PRO Professional; i.e. prostitutes or paid escort.

A person who practices swinging primary as a recreational diversion with no desire for emotional attachment.

RESTRAINT Mild bondage used in sexual fantasy enactments.

RUBBER Condom means of contraception; sexual stimulation through the look, feel and smell of rubber, usually associated with B&D.

SAFE Used to describe a person who cannot conceive or impregnate; a man who has had a vasectomy.

S.A.S.E. Self-addressed stamped envelope.

SGL Single person.

S&M Sadism and Masochism (see SADISM, MASOCHISM).

SINGLE A swinger without a partner, single or married.

SOCIAL A party, dance or other gathering usually sponsored by a swing club or magazine, for swingers to meet and socialize. There is no swinging at a social but privately arranged swinging may follow a social.

A swing club, generally private membership that offers social and swinging activities including a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties. They may also offer educational and travel activities. Usually there is a membership fee and either party fees, party donations or a regular maintenance fee or dues. Party attendance may be restricted to couples though the marital status of the couple is rarely important.

SOFT SWINGING A social, erotic swing party environment where sexual activity is common and available, but not required or assumed. Sometimes used to describe swapping up to, but not including intercourse. The term developed in Southern California in the early 1970's (see HARD SWINGING, HARD CORE).

S.T.D. or STD Sexually transmitted disease. A term developed in the late 1970's to replace VD as the latter carried social and moral implications in the minds of many. These social and moral implications interfered with the legitimate treatment of sexually transmitted diseases as a medical problem.


STRAIGHT Non-swinger; A Swinger who is not interested in same sex sexual activity.

SWAPPING Two couples exchanging partners for sexual activity.

SWINGING Social-sexual relational recreation among men and women. It is a couple oriented activity but single men and women sometimes are involved.

SWINGING LIFESTYLE Style of living with swinging a major component in recreation, choice of friends, business and social life, and intimate relationships.

Marriage incorporating swinging and often, humanistic ideals.


Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a swinging encounter. Not the same as a "menage a' trois" in that the latter may involve emotional involvement and a continuing relationship.

TICKET A person, usually a woman, brought to a swing party solely to enable the man to gain entrance. The ticket generally has no intention to swing or is not free to swing.

TOYS Sexual aids (see MARITAL AIDS)


TRIAD Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a continuing relationship of emotional and sexual involvement. Not the same as a threesome.

VIBRATOR Electrically run vibrating device for stimulation of the vagina by insertion or holding to outer lips, clitoris, breasts and the male penis. Some vibrators are penile shaped and are run by batteries while more expensive ones are for surface use and are run by an AC motor from a typical wall outlet. Vibrators are used by both men and women for self-stimulation and to sexually please another.

VOLUPTUOUS Fullness of beauty and form; usually used to refer to a woman with large well-formed breasts; may also refer to full but well formed hips.

VOYEUR A person who enjoys and is stimulated by watching others in sexual acts.

Did we miss some? Add new terms by leaving a comment below.

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