What to Expect
If you are new to swinging and you are planning to go to your first club or party you may be at a loss as to how to fit in, and you may be nervous. Just remember that it is the responsibility of the hosts to acquaint you with the structure of the party.
You might also want to listen to Episode 8 where we discuss some of these topics in greater detail.
From our experience, there are 4 types of "parties":
1. "On-premise clubs" allow sexual activity to happen in designated areas of the club.
2. "Off-premise clubs" do not allow intercourse to happen in the club but are a good way to make introductions with like minded people.
3. "Meet-n-Greet" parties usually have the same rules as off-premise clubs but they may be set up in a neutral ground like a nightclub or restaurant.
DECIDE IN ADVANCE
Before you go to any swinger event, you and your partner should discuss your particular method of swinging; if you will swing "soft" or "hard," bisexually or not. Perhaps you are just curious and would enjoy being a voyeur?
It is important that you and your partner decide, in advance, what you like and dislike. You may also have other personal restrictions you'd like to have honored. It is important that you be honest with your partner and make your anxieties known. Establish your own ground rules, but please decide on them BEFORE you start "swinging". Whatever ground rules you develop, it is important that you keep them. Changing your rules during a play session is not a good idea. As you engage in sex with your partner and other couples, you may see your ground rules develop over time. Don't rush.
WOMEN HAVE THE POWER
One thing that we have noticed from the clubs we visit is that the best clubs have a feminie vibe. Clubs that go out of their way to make women feel comfortable, sexy and in charge tend to be our favorites. We enjoy playing with couples and occasionally a single. Many of the clubs have "couples only" nights as well as "couples and singles" events.
BISEXUALITY AT U.S.A. CLUBS
Perhaps it is a double standard but from our experience most clubs in the United States do not encourage male bisexual activities in the group areas of a club. On the other hand, female bisexual activities are encouraged but not forced. Many women who play with other couples enjoy playing with women. Be it a simple kiss on the cheek or a much hotter encounter, it's up to the woman to determine how far she feels comfortable engaging with the night's festivities. If the male-half of your relationship desires to play with bi-men, it is a good idea to ask the host where this behavior is acceptable. No one should judge you for asking.
If there is general disrobing, slip into a robe, negligee or go nude yourself. Though you may remain fully clothed, changing into something more revealing will help you to become involved. It serves to make you more accessible physically and socially.
Do not "push" your partner into doing something he/she is not ready to do. Be open with each other with your feelings. Communication is the key to successful swinging.
Stay together until you feel comfortable about being apart, but don't cling to one another. Socialize and have fun.
Don't be reluctant to ask questions of other guests. Swingers are interested in new people and are generally eager to answer questions about swinging. Remember, even the most active swingers at a club had their first time too.
If there is a hot tub or jacuzzi, use it. Being nude in comfortably hot water in close proximity to others is conducive to making friends and becoming involved.
Be responsible, friendly and good-natured. Don't act or pretend. Be yourself. A smile and friendly conversation can only lead to good things.
Freshly showered and neatly dressed people make more contacts. You'll get the most out of this lifestyle if you just use your common sense and remember good manners.
DO TELL PEOPLE YOU ARE NEW TO SWINGING.
WHAT TO WEAR
If the club has a theme on the night you are attending, it is very fun to dress accordingly. But don't be surprised to find that many at the club do not dress according to the theme. A couple who attends a club regularly may, for example, have already dressed as a Naughty School Girl 69 times. The most important thing to remember about what to wear is to dress in something that makes you feel comfortable.
Be assured you will not be required to run around naked. Making new friends takes courage and some sort of effort on your part. The important thing to remember is that the best swinging encounters start with good verbal communication. Don't be in a hurry. Take the time to find out about the other couple's desires and interests. And don't be afraid to explore your fantasies.
HAVE FUN AND LET US HEAR ALL ABOUT YOUR HOT TIMES!